flask bracelet

Unique christmas and white elephant gifts that’ll win the holiday season

It’s that time again: Time to stress about gift-giving! My mom just called up me up and asked me if I was going to do another gift guide this year. I wasn’t planning on it, but, as I was shopping for the people on my list, I kept seeing gifts that were SO AWESOME, but so not exactly right for my shopping needs. Maybe these unique gifts will help you win the holidays this year (or at least make a killing for white elephant gifts)…

Cocktail candles

cocktail candles
Gift someone the scent of their favorite cocktail: From an old fashion to mint julep, and dark and stormy — these are classy and boozy and fun.

Flask bracelet

flask bracelet
Give someone the gift of being the most stylish sneakily drunk person at your office with this flask bracelet!

Unicorn gifts

unicorn light
When I was scrolling through gift ideas and these little guys popped up, I couldn’t help the smile that spread across my face. And that’s exactly how the recipients of the most adorable lights of all time will react as well.

Happiness is… believing in unicorns ???? @cosmic_decadence #blackmilkclothing #blackmilk #bmunicornblacklegs

A photo posted by blackmilkclothing (@blackmilkclothing) on

I saw this photo on Black Milk’s instagram account and just had to track down that unicorn tears purse, and here it is in three different colors!

Death Star waffle maker

It wouldn’t be a gift roundup of mine if I didn’t include something Star Wars-related. Thankfully Think Geek just rolled out this amazing Death Star waffle iron that combines everyone’s favorite things: waffles and Star Wars.

Smart wall charger

smart wall charger
No matter what they need to charge, this Powerslayer Smart Wall Charger (awesome name, yes?) has charging speeds up to twice as fast as standard chargers, an auto-off function that helps keep your battery from overcharging, and acts as a surge protector.

Emergency Sriracha keychain

sriracha2go keychain
Got a spicey personality to shop for? Can you believe the “Sriracha2go keychain” exists? I can’t either, and neither will they when they open their gift!

Texting gloves

texting gloves
If I lived in a place that had cold weather (ie. not Los Angeles), I’d live and die by my texting gloves. Get the people on your list something that will keep them both warm AND social.

Scoop That! Ice Cream Scooper

heated ice cream scooper
This is an ice cream scooper that uses your own body heat to make scooping frozen treats easy as pie (or easy as eating ice cream with pie, I should say). I also got their body-heat activated butter knife as a gift for my mom last year.

Ty’s DIY shower curtain

DIY shower curtain
Ty is a simple #2 plastic shower curtain. Unlike other shower curtains made of vinyl, Ty will not off-gas in your home, it breathes – making it less likely to grow gross mold and mildew, it will last a very long time, then it can be recycled. And the best part — you can draw your very own designs on it! Look how cool this is:

DIY shower curtain drawing

Still looking for the perfect gifts? No worries, so am I. I’ll be keeping this post updated as I continue my holiday shopping. So feel free to bookmark this and check back every now and then.

Operation “waffle all the things” is off to a delicious start

Fresh out of the waffle iron box!

Knowing that waffles are my favorite thing, my boyfriend Mike got me this waffle iron (surprisingly, not this waffle iron) as a present for our six month anniversary. We have since made waffles, and they were good.

Then we wondered, what other things can we make on a waffle iron?

In our quest to become the world’s foremost waffle iron chefs (okay, I might be overstating things a bit) we have started scheming up waffle iron recipe plans. And this morning we executed our first masterpiece…

The Waffled Egg Melt (aka. the “diet waffled egg melt”) (warning: this is not diet in any way)…

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The Divorce Fairy

October 10, 2015, would have been Aaron and my “10 years together/7 years married” anniversary. If my last round of “crying in frustration in the family law room of the Santa Monica courthouse was successful, we’ll be officially divorced by the beginning of 2016 — a full year since we started this break-up process.

A couple months ago, my dad and I went to lunch and he asked me, “so what really did happen between you and Aaron. It seemed like you guys were doing fine, and then all-of-a-sudden you’re divorced. What went wrong?” For the first time ever — nearly 8 months after our split — I actually had an answer for that. Interestingly, it’s because of my new relationship with my boyfriend, that I finally understand what happened with my old relationship with that guy I married… Read More

Breaking news: Tina Fey reads Offbeat Home/thinks I’m hilarious

Apparently Tina Fey reads Offbeat Home & Life!

As I said on Offbeat Home

Okay, whatever Tina, I forgive you for thinking that our site is “mom stuff,” because you’re one of my heroes. And I’ll forgive you for making fun of our posts about sexuality (or the lack thereof), and not realizing how amazing our site is because of them, because you’ve fought so hard for feminism.

But mostly I forgive you, because I truly want to believe that I made Tina Fey laugh with my choice of amazing illustrating photos!

Tina Fey and Seth Myers talk about Offbeat Home

Much like how Tina makes her kid’s birthday parties about herself, I am going to make this news about myself: Tina Fey thinks I’m hilarious. That should be the over-all positive take-away on this story. I think we can all agree on that.

As one of my friends put it, this is “Nerd Writer Celeb Nirvana.” So, if you need me today, I’ll be running around my neighborhood screaming “TINA FEY LAUGHED AT SOMETHING I DID!” And then high-fiving a million angels.

I just wanna look good for WHO?: Dressing, dining, and dating as a feminist

My boss lady friend Ariel wrote a great post about “That stupid Selena Gomez song and second wave feminism.” Just from that title in quotations, you probably know the song I’m talking about. I sure did…

So the gist of Ariel’s post was a conversation that ensued between her and her husband about whether or not that song is gross. I laughed, because I had that exact same conversation, except it was just with myself in the car the other day…

“WHAT!? You want to look good for WHO!? Naw girl, that’s awful. Look good for YOU.”

“Oh, but Megan, did you not just wear a skin-tight dress out to dinner the other night in front of a bunch of strangers because your man thinks you look amazing in it?”

“Yeah… shit. I did, huh? That was both fun and weird. Does that make me a bad feminist?”

“It makes you a fun partner.”

“But does it make me a bad feminist?”


“See! I want to make choices for myself not for him.”

“But you made that choice for yourself to make that choice for him.”

“I’m confused.”

“Me too.”

“Just enjoy the music.”

This has been a kind of over-arching theme that I’m self-conversing about a lot lately. There are a lot of times that I have questioned my choices and have questioned the concept of choice itself — What is and isn’t my choice? Am I giving myself a choice? Do I even like my choice? — while dating.

For example, my boyfriend happens to be really passionate about restaurants, and he loves dining out. It happens to be one of my most favorite things to do as well. So there, that’s good. I’m doing something with him that I love to do as well, all is fine. Nothing to worry over here.

EXCEPT! Imagine you’re me: A girl who spent the last 10 years with a partner who didn’t like to go to new restaurants and flat-out didn’t like fine dining options, relegated to restaurants where we knew there’d be a “hamburger” or “pepperoni pizza” options. And you’re now you’re newly single and on a date at a new and super-trendy Mexican restaurant with a guy you really really like. (“Yes! Mexican food,” you think. “I’ve got this.”) Then you are handed a menu that feels more like a yearbook, and the first thing you set your eyes on is this: Read More

From casual to hot date, comfortable shoes you can walk in all day long

Let’s talk about the most comfortable shoes I own…

I like to walk. According to my FitBit, I walk about 11k steps a day. Which means I always like to wear comfortable shoes… even when I’m dressed up. This is my roundup of my comfortable shoes, from casual to hot dinner date, that you can walk in all day long… Read More

My birthday: The Jesus Year and the year of the brat

Today I turned 34.

Me on the morning of my 34th birthday.

Last night, on my last night of being 33, a friend asked me if the past year was, indeed, a “Jesus year” for me.

My favorite definition of the term “Jesus year” comes (of course) from Urban Dictionary:

“The 33rd year of your life where you are reborn in some sense. Perhaps a mid-life crisis, perhaps an ego death, perhaps the year where you abandon old ways and start new …. or perhaps you were affixed to a cross and came out the other side a spiritual figure that historians, theologians, worshipers and dissenters make the subject of many a conversation.”

My response: Well, let’s see… this last year only my WHOLE ENTIRE LIFE changed.

By the time my 33rd year would end, most of the things I had used to define myself were stripped away: My 10 year relationship with that guy I married would be over, I would no longer be a doggy mommy, I’d be eating foods I swore off or swore I’d never eat, I’d be making dental appointments!!! Oh, and I’d also be in a new relationship (more on that later).

I had in a way definitely been reborn on my 33rd year. Some of this change was forced upon me, some of it was by choice, but all of it was exactly what I needed, and I couldn’t be happier heading into my next year of living on this planet.

Now I’m starting my 34th year with nothing but optimism and excitement. It’s no wonder that today has already been one of the best birthdays I’ve had in years, and it isn’t even over yet.

So far I’ve… Read More