For my birthday last year, Aaron proposed to get me a plot at a community garden, siting my love of plants. At first my reaction was “Aw, what a thoughtful idea.” And then my reaction was that of dread. After sitting with the idea for about a month, putting off his suggestions of going and checking out garden plots every weekend, I realized, there’s something wrong here. I don’t want this. Why not?
Then I realized… it’s because I dread the idea of having another thing to take care of. I already have a husband and therefor a marriage to maintain, two dogs and a cat, two websites and a career, a two-bedroom apartment, two cars, several houseplants, and myself. I just didn’t want more living things that need my attention and care on my plate. I look at my weekly schedule, and there’s ONE day in the week where I don’t have an appointment of some kind for either my mental or physical health, my relationship, or my job.
At first I felt bad for rejecting what would have been a sweet birthday gift that would possibly give my husband and I a project to work on together. Aaron has since went on to get a garden plot for himself and he seems to be enjoying it. But I admit it, I’m glad I don’t have to scurry off to damn near Downtown LA with him after work, or instead of breakfast with friends, to tend to it.
I tell myself that, when I finally get that home I’ve been craving, I’ll create some space in the yard for a garden then. That way, even though it will be another THING to take care of, I at least won’t have to sit in traffic in order to do so. I’ll lump that into the “houseplants” category of “bitches that need my TLC.” And I’ll be happy that it’s my own garden in my own private space where I can garden bra-less and in my jammies if I want.
This post was inspired by watching my sister and brother-in-law chase and wrangle their daughter from sun-up to sun-down. Just watching them is making me all kind of stressed out and anxious. I sit back and think, “Thank GAWD that isn’t me.” And then I realize that, yes a garden is not like a human child, but it helps me to realize that I ultimately made the right choice in having one less thing to take care of. I think I made the right choice, and I no longer feel bad for rejecting the thoughtful gift from my husband.
Besides, then he bought me fossils for Christmas and they make me ridiculously happy — no care necessary.