I ran out of shit to read, and it was these comments on an Offbeat Home post that convinced me to download Outlander. Which, okay, is written by a chick who lives in Arizona, but it’s FULL of Scottish history, and like, you know, one sexy-ass Scottish dude.
And then I finished watching all of Call the Midwife and Netflix recommended a show called Monarch of the Glen, and I’m all Scottish laird what now? It’s fucking AWESOME. It’s like Northern Exposure meets Downton Abbey… in Scotland… with a super-Megan-type actor. (Seriously, the moment Aaron saw this guy he was like “you have a crush on him, don’t you?) And I’m binge watching all seven fucking seasons.
Which means, at this point I’m up to my eyeballs in kilts, accents, and gorgeous scenery. And I’m asking my husband questions about the Finley lineage that he has no answers to. Only to say things like, “Yeah, I’ve been told we’re from Scotland.” “I think we have a family crest… something with an eagle?” “Look Megan, I don’t now, I don’t care, why am I even looking this shit up right now?”
So, at this point I’m itching to visit Scotland. Like DY-ING. Aaron’s probably also itching to let me go to Scotland, if anything but to stop hearing me imitating the accent. “Aye, ye fucking wee mutts. Stop yer bloody yapping. I’ll get ye fed…”
This is all to say, if anyone wants to take a trip to Scotland sometime next year, I’d TOTALLY be down to go! Or who do I know that wants to play host to me in Scotland?
I’ve been straight up ITCHY with, what I think is, heat rash. It started a week ago. Just around my hips and inner thighs, and then it spread down my legs, up to my stomach, and down my arms.
I’m NON-STOP ITCHING.
I’ve been getting some slight relief from my Pure Fiji Dilo Rescue Body Spray — seriously it’s doing better things than Cortisone. But still… I even couldn’t sleep one night because of the torturous itching.
And you KNOW scratching it feels SOOOO GOOOOOOD. I can’t stop. But the moment I stop scratching… oh man…
I’m going insane.
And because of this itch, I can’t go outside because it’s disgusting hot in LA, I’m bailing on my weekly hikes with my friends, and I can’t wear fun clothes. I’ve been stuck inside (during the day) for a week with the AC blasting, wearing this cotton Costco dress 24/7.
If it was heat rash, wouldn’t it go away once I stopped being hot? I know it’s NOT an allergic reaction to food, soap, detergent, animals… because everything has stayed the same.
So WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS and WHEN WILL IT END?
But mostly, does anyone have any suggestions as to what I can do to stop The Big Itch.
In a VERY RARE occurrence that guy I married and I found ourselves with a Saturday night with no plans. Aaron used it as an excuse to take me out to a surprise dinner — also a VERY RARE occurrence!
See, we don’t really go out to dinner because we can’t ever agree on a place that we both love on the same level — not since Kate Mantilini‘s. Discovered while we were in couples therapy, Kate Mantilini’s was the first restaurant both of us could find our very favorite things, and we made it a ritual to go every Tuesday, post-therapy. We went so often that we got to know the staff and they us, we got special desserts, and comped wines. It was awesome. We were left restaurant-less after it closed.
Unbeknownst to me, Aaron had discovered that there was in fact ANOTHER Kate Mantilini’s in Woodland Hills (deeeeeeep in the Valley), and he kept it a secret from me so that one evening he could surprise me. That was this evening! He told me to get dressed up, we were going on a date.
My heart fluttered, and my black dress came out of the closet. I was stoked. This was special. Read More
This is just one of the amazing sights you see when you’re house hunting in Panorama City.
Every Sunday I go shopping for a home I can’t ever buy. It’s like this my own sisyphean tale: Girl wants house, girl finds house, girl falls in love with house, girl can’t afford house, girl watches someone else buy house… girl still wants house, girl finds another house, girl falls in love with house, girl can’t afford house, girl watches someone else buy house… and on and on every week. Always ending on a Sunday after open houses end, and starting up again on Monday morning when I start obsessively checking my Redfin app for new homes to look at, fall in love with, and leave behind.
Why do I do this to myself? (Good question, I should bring that up in therapy.) Well, it didn’t start as personal torture… Read More
My father Allen Tharpe took the “ALS ice bucket challenge” today. While it was hilarious, it was also sad…
His mother, my grandmother whom I never got to meet (but apparently very much resemble) died from amyotrophic lateral sclerosis. That, in short, FUCKING SUCKS. June Tharpe was — from what I’ve learned over the years — a bad-ass. I would have loved to have had the opportunity to meet her just once, let alone to have gotten to deeply know and be shaped by her, as I have with my other wonderful grandmother.
I admit, I’ve been confused by the challenge. So… every time someone dumps water on their head ALS doesn’t get money? (Thankfully, like my father, people have been doing both.) And I’ve cringed watching people from California waste gallons of water during a drought. (So I made sure my father didn’t challenge anyone from Cali.)
But what can not be confused, what doesn’t make me cringe, is that ALS research just received something like 11 MILLION dollars. That is amazing. That is wonderful.
That gives me hope that one day another girl won’t have to cry every time she’s reminded of the bad-ass grandma she so much resembles that she never got to even meet. It gives me hope that another child won’t have to, not just watch, but nurse his dying mother whose body is giving out way before her time. Because with all these ice buckets and donations, one day, hopefully soon, we may be that much closer to finding a cure to this shitty no good disease.
Anyway, all this to say, I just skipped the ice bucket and donated money to ALS research, and if you want to do so as well, here’s the link: http://alsa.org/donate
My favorite photo from my birthday weekend.
My 33rd birthday is tomorrow. I don’t have any “big plans.” Last year, post-disappointing-turn-out-birthday-party, I decided that I was not going to attempt any big birthday party plans again until I turn 42 (the Answer to the Ultimate Question of Life).
But I have been having mini celebrations with friends throughout the weekend. This will be a boring round-up of activities that will probably only be interesting to me. But it’s mah burfday so indulge me… Read More
Remember last year when I went to an internet-themed party and paid tribute to my favorite expression on the interwebs “X ALL THE Y!” I use that phrasing all the time in my writing, so it made sense that I should celebrate by cosplaying as Ali Brosh’s comic of herself. Well, this past weekend was round two of the “Children of the Internet” — the birthday party for my friend Brittany. And I had to stop and think “which internet expression do I want to celebrate this year?”
Of course! My favorite thing to happen to grammar, because internet.
But I couldn’t chose which word I would use as the noun… because internet? Because Brittany? Because nerds? Because party? So I decided to just write “because” and bring a flipbook of options. Which came in handy when I met one huge nerd celebrity… Read More