Buying a car, burying a dog, and vacation-induced PTSD

I’m so ready for this week to be over. These last three weeks have been incredibly stressful and emotionally draining for me.

My last moment with Julius after eight years together.

My last moment with Julius after eight years together.

First, my week of intense car shopping…

I spent five whole days car shopping with my dad. Almost non-stop. I enjoyed the part where I got to spend all that time with my dad, and learn a WHOLE lot about the car buying process. I didn’t, however, enjoy the process of car shopping. I also didn’t enjoy the panic attacks in the middle of a Honda showroom, and the Mazda showroom. And the amount of crying in public I did when I finally sold Julius, my Mini Cooper that I’ve had for eight years. But at the end, I wound up with the perfect car. I totally thought I was going to get a used small SUV that I felt kind of “meh” about. But ended up with a brand new Subaru that I’m over-the-moon for.


I seriously love my new car. She’s perfect for me in every way: My favorite color, can fit my entire family, and with such a smoother ride. It’s basically like Julius on steroids! It was also going to be so much more comfortable riding experience for my aging family dog, Ayla. I that was going to be the happy ending to a looong week of stress.

But the very next day, Ayla died after thirteen years of love and laughter. This completely devastated me for two reasons: I miss her so much, and I had to watch Elsa, my loooongtime housekeeper, grieve harder than anyone.

That started my week of intense sadness…

Continue reading

Thanks for 13 silly, stinky, happy years, Ayla

323677733_39e4eb5737_zAyla, my family dog, died at 2:30pm on July 20th, at 13-years-old. She spent the last four years of her life living with our longtime housekeeper, Elsa — aka. Ayla’s favorite person on Earth. Elsa was by her side for her last breaths, just as I hoped she’d be, just as Ayla deserved.

The day Ayla died (after crumbling into a sobbing mess, screaming “no!” while Aaron held me) I rushed over to Elsa’s home. I spent hours sitting with Elsa and her nieces and nephews — alternating between tears and laughter — as the WHOLE NEIGHBORHOOD came by to say their goodbyes to Ayla… Continue reading

Closings and beginnings: How I met that guy I married at Tom Bergins

This is KIND of what it looked like the night I met Aaron at Tom Bergins.

This is KIND of what it looked like the night I met Aaron at Tom Bergins, as in lots of Guinness was involved and I was probably being campy as fuck.

Just yesterday I got the startling news that my favorite bar in Los Angeles is closing. Tom Bergins has been around since 1936! It was a bar I had always heard about growing up, since it was a popular spot to go after a USC football game. I heard my aunts and uncles tossing the name around for YEARS. When I was finally became a student at USC I did two things:
1. Realize that Bergins was NOT actually on the USC campus.
2. Drank there a LOT.

It’s also where I met my husband.

So I thought, in honor of Bergins, I’d document the story of how we met. It’s long, and probably not too terribly interesting, but I thought it was be a fitting way to deal with all my SAD FEELS! Continue reading

How’s the Aruba trip going?

So this place exists in Aruba! I'm loving my tour with @arubatourism y'all. #nofilter

I actually have some time to relax right now on this awesome press tour of Aruba! It’s funny, there’s been a lot of talk the past few days about how tiring press trips are and how NO ONE could ever understand unless you’ve been on one. From the moment my tired feet have hit the ground I’ve been going non-stop. Crashing late at night and getting up early in the morning. Don’t get me wrong, I’m LOVING it. I’m a lucky bitch with an amazingly generous boss. (Thanks Ariel!!!!) Because, as much as they run you fucking ragged on these press junkets, they take you to experience things you’d otherwise never get to do. (Unless you’re in a totally different tax bracket from your typical blogger/freelance writer.) Like these things… Continue reading

Filed under “happy spurts”: Gay marriage, new friends, and Aruba!

It’s a great day y’all, for many reasons:


I remember the day that gay marriage was approved in California. I was engaged to be married myself, driving down LaBrea with the top down on my Mini Cooper, and the good news came on the radio. I became beyond giddy that I would be getting married at a time when ALL my fellow Californians could do the same. Then I remember the crushing and confusing blow of Prop 8 being passed. What the fucking fuck, world? That night I stared out my window and cried while a bunch of spontaneous protestors streamed past me down Santa Monica Blvd. I grabbed my dog, Jackson, and took to the streets. it was the first time I ever protested anything. And the years went by and I just became so disappointed in my fellow human beings.

Well, this morning I woke up to great news! Both DOMA and Prop8 have been struck down by the mutha-fuckin’ Supreme Court! And my inbox looked like this:


New friends!

Chick-fil-A for a marriage equality celebration lunch! I wore a special tee. (Photo thanks to @bwalloch!)

My good friend Ken (of whiskey-drinking podcast fame) introduced me to his good friends (of meme party fame). And since then I’ve gotten more awesome party invitations than this lonely geek could ever even have dreamt about in her bestest dreams. These new friends are awesome, y’all. I even got to hang out and celebrate today’s civil rights victory with them. How else, but at a lunch date at a Chick Fil A!? As you can see, I wore a special shirt for the occasion.


Two weeks ago I got asked if I wanted to go on a wedding-themed press trip to Aruba. The answer, of course, was YES! I leave at midnight for Aruba. No, seriously, Aruba. I’m going there. I’ll be back Monday night.

And so begins “Megan’s IRL tour of the song Kokomo.” Who wants to hit up Jamaica with me next?

Welcome home to… a SWARM OF BEES!

I really want to re-edit this Zillow commercial to put all manner of HORRIBLE THINGS in the house after she opens the door:

I was thinking a gruesome murder scene, a bear fighting a T-Rex, or a Furry orgie. My friend Brittany suggested, “Like bees. A buttload of bees.” I laughed so hard I cried re-watching the commercial and imagining that one.

What else can we put behind the door? And who wants to make this edit happen for me?

Father’s Day, Fitbits, and financial anxieties

UntitledIt’s fitting that today is Father’s Day, as I find myself a sniveling, crying, shaking, scared mess, literally crying out “I just want my dad!” This car situation isn’t getting better, in fact I’m even more freaked out. SO freaked out that today, on the day my friend who used to be a car salesman was going to be take me car shopping, I woke up totally fucking sick. Stressed-induced sickness — it’s a thing.

This whole car bullshit couldn’t come at a worse time. I just shelled out a sizable chuck of my savings to pay for a new laptop, and I’m still feeling the pinch from that. I thought I wasn’t going to be able to take a vacation this summer until I found a good price on Maui airfare. So I bit the bullet and splurged a little, which I now regret. And I just had to take a significant reduce in pay, but not necessarily workload. And now my car has decided to crap out on me, forcing me to decide — during this already stressful and confusing time — to invest in a car that I’ve outgrown, or decide to get a new one ASAP.

On top of this, I’m struggling with a lot of guilt. Working for the Empire we constantly have to think about “checking our privilege.” (So much so that it’s become a running gag — I laugh to keep from crying.) So during one of my panic attacks last night, I cried to Aaron that I know I’m being an asshole. Talk about “check your privilege”… I’m totally upset that I have to decide between spending money I do have to keep a car that I still like, or spend money that I can somewhat afford on a newer car. Boo fucking hoo, right?

To which Aaron replied that I shouldn’t be so hard of myself. This clearly IS hard for me. I’ve never bought my own car before. I’ve never spent this kind of money before. And I’m also dealing with a lot of other financial issues at the same time. I have to remember that sometimes, even though — yes, there are totally worse things a person could have to deal with — I need to be kinder to myself. Me feeling shitty and then telling myself that I should feel shitty for even feeling shitty, isn’t going to help my anxiety. Which is totally something my therapist was helping me work through.

Of course, I just canceled my therapist to make up for the loss of income, so I’m a fucking mess.

Anyway… let’s write about other things… Continue reading