Old man keeps house, Megan cries for days

Wah Waaaaaaaaah. :(

Wah Waaaaaaaaah. 🙁

Bad news: I didn’t get the house.
Good news: No one else was chosen over me.
Unpredictable news: The guy who lived in the house got last-minute mortgage help from the U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs, so the bank stopped the short sale.

Of course I’m devastated. Everyone told me not to get my hopes up, and I told everyone “too fucking late.” I sobbed and sobbed yesterday. Then I awoke this morning feeling drained and depressed.

It feels like I got dumped by a boyfriend. Being in a longterm relationship for almost 10 years, I had forgotten this feeling… The tears, the questions, the feeling of general “unfairness,” and the fear that no other house will ever be as perfect for me. Then the calm of acceptance… and then the circle of grief again.

I know in my head that there, of course, will be a next house. But I just don’t know when. I could be tomorrow, but it could be in a year or more. But to go from happy excitement, with a future full of possibilities, to this emptiness is rough. My mind searches and searches for a thing to focus on, for a happy goal to work over as I pass the time, and, finding nothing, I go back to el depresso mode. It’s basically the mental version of my home search on Redfin.

If I focus on the good in this situation, I can still be proud that I saw something and attempted to go after it. I channeled my inner bad-ass, and accomplished everything I needed to, in order to have a chance at my dream. (I even finally changed my last name with the Social Security office, after six years of laziness.) For that I am proud of myself.

6 thoughts on “Old man keeps house, Megan cries for days

  1. kirstenlf

    Oh, man. I am so sorry, Megan. I has hoping and hoping and wishing so hard for you. Perhaps selfishly living vicariously through your journey, but wanting it for you as badly as I would for myself. Chin up, it’s not over until the Germans bomb Pearl Harbor! You will find an even better house. I know you will! In the meantime, I offer some real estate porn. Look at this funky little cabin that you could live in on the weekends… https://www.redfin.com/CA/Santa-Clarita/34371-Bouquet-Canyon-Rd-91390/unit-81/home/69095781

  2. Addie Talley

    Oh man Megan, I’m so sorry… That’s heartbreaking, and I’ve been there before…. I’m sure there is an even better place out there at a better price for you…. And if nothing else, at least this house got you to take that first step… Yay you! Hugs

  3. ashkilby

    I can commiserate so hard right now. Just got another message from our realator basically saying “the people claiming they are going to buy your house couldn’t get their shit together to get the financing by the day they originally said they would. Gonna move it back 4 days. Even though they already changed the loan type and tacked on more cost to you and other general shittiness.” At least that was the dramatic reading my already anxiety riddled brain transmitted to me. I have decided real estate is not for me and I wish to never endure the selling or buying of a house again. Gonna go cry in a corner now as all of the carefully laid plans that depend on this house selling in the originally laid out time frame fall apart.

    1. meganfinley Post author

      OH JEEBUS FUCK BALLS! That sounds fucking awful. Because unlike MY situation, where it just ended and that’s it… you got to keep going through this crap. I’m sorry. Real estate is a mother fucker.

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