No, he doesn’t wear a ring

Our rings

I still follow a few popular wedding-related Twitter accounts. I chalk it up to a market research kind of thing, since I write for Offbeat Bride. Most of the time I just ignore the tweets as 98% of them are pure WIC fluff. “Flowers worthy of escorting you down the aisle.” “Have you ever thought of wearing a red wedding dress!?” “The time between your engagement and your wedding is an ideal time to begin a regular beauty and fitness regimen.” “Make sure to buy more things! You need more things! Things that are shiny!” And then this tweet caught my eye:

“Do U Care if UR Husband (or Future Husband) Doesn’t wear a Wedding Ring?”

I read it and immediately wanted to tweet back defensively — Why the hell would I care!? Why the hell would anyone care!? What business is it of yours!? And so on. But I thought, naw, totally not worth my time. And then it got worse as I read this response:

Even better question. RT @blueskyshine: @BrideTide More important question: WHY wouldn’t he want to?

Ooooh, my blood was boiling after reading that ignorant twat tweet. To question someones love and basic morality based on the fact that they don’t wear a piece a of jewelry just seemed beyond insulting to me.

So I just had to respond in the piddly 140 characters at my disposal:

@BrideTide Why not? Bc he has a job where wearing jewelry is dangerous. Bc he hates wearing jewelry. Bc he doesn’t need 1 to show he’s committed [cont.] Mine doesn’t wear a wedding ring and I couldn’t care less. He gave it a go at first and he just never got used to it. S’okay by me

And it is okay by me! I’ll be honest that at first I was bummed… I think wedding rings on a dude (especially your own dude) are sexy! Every time I saw that flash of metal on his finger I gave me a thrill — it’s all sexy “grown up” of him.

But when I stepped back and looked at the reality of the situation I saw that, honestly, that ring spent more time spinning on the table in front of him, or in his mouth, than on his finger. And I just saw how uncomfortable it made him. He really HATES wearing jewelry, and he complained that the air conditioning in the recording studio where he works made the ring so cold that his finger ached.

Now, I could’ve bitched and nagged and guilted my husband into just accepting his be-ringed fate, but I had realize that, even though that ring gave me a thrill, it’s not at all worth his discomfort for one minute.

And what’s the point of it really? ‘It’s symbol to show that he’s devoted and faithful to me,’ is what I came up with. But isn’t it okay that the symbol just be that he freaking MARRIED ME!? I mean, what more do I need? This man stood in front of family, friends, and a few complete strangers, and exchanged vows with me — do I need more than THAT? And the answer was, obviously, no. There doesn’t need to be a physical symbol when his vows alone and my trust in him are enough to show me (and everyone else?) that he is devoted and faithful to me.

So, no, he doesn’t wear a ring, and I’m a-okay with it. But I’ll keep wearing mine because I think they’re purrrrty.

  • Anyone else wanna chime in? Do you or your partner wear their rings?

UPDATE
OMG! Last night after I went to bed Aaron stayed up and got into some mischief with this blog post. Check out Aaron’s LOTR version — “No, he doesn’t wear ‘The Precious’

6 thoughts on “No, he doesn’t wear a ring

  1. Michelle

    Oooohhh….that makes me so mad! You said everything that I think about this issue. You know Joe doesn’t wear his either, because he hates it, but more importantly because it’s too dangerous for him to have it on at work. His brother actually got his hand stuck in a piece of equipment so badly that it flattened the ring ON HIS FINGER….They had to take pliers to bend it back into shape and get it off. A little more and he could have lost a finger! So yes, I’m okay with my hubby not wearing his ring. It doesn’t mean he loves me any less. What a stupid idea.

    Reply
    1. meganfinley

      Yes! Thanks for that story! I had also heard a story about a fireman (I think) who had gotten severely injured bc of his wedding band which prompted a fireman buddy of his to stop wearing his. It’s stories like that that made me so outraged that someone could be that shallow and closeminded. Rings do not equal love!

      Reply
  2. Monica

    I saw this on Offbeat Bride, and I was appalled and baffled (at the very same time!). How can someone get all high and mighty about a piece of jewelery? And shouldn’t personal comfort trump a fairly antiquated tradition every time?

    Reply

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