There are a few times in your life when you’re going to be asked some of the most annoying questions over and over. The first time this happens is when you graduate from college and get, “So what are you going to do once you graduate?” over and over until you start making things up just to break the monotony. The next time something like that happens is when you get engaged and people keep asking “so how’s the wedding planning going?” I got that so often that I started a blog about my wedding planning process in order to just give people a url so that they could look and see for themselves. (And you know what… that worked pretty damn well!)
Then once you get married you’ll never hear the end of “so how’s married life?” UGH. What are you supposed to say to that? I always answer, “It’s great! I love it!” But I hate saying that because when it’s directed at a terminally single friend or one of my gay neighbors it makes me feel guilty. Like I’m bragging, even thought they’re the one’s that asked!!! It makes me feel like a jackass to say it, but it’s totally and completely true. Married life is great and I do really love it. We’ve been married now for almost a year and I couldn’t be more happy with my husband and our marriage.
Along with the repetition of “how’s married life,” people always say, “The first year of marriage is the hardest.” But that must not always be the case! Because the thing is, nothing has really changed for us. And I don’t think that it really has to change if you don’t want it too. I also think living together before we got married probably had a lot to do with the easy times we’re having in our first year of marriage — all the problems we had adjusting to each other came and went before we were engaged! But the fact is Aaron and I both entered into this marriage knowing and agreeing with what each other wanted and expected from it, which has made all the difference. My friend Ariel wrote a marriage advice post wherein she called her marriage a “custom marriage” and I thought that was a really good description for what we’ve got going as well. Marriage can be what you want it to be and it doesn’t have to conform to popular social mores. It’s our relationship and our rules.
And of course year one of marriage hasn’t always been sunshine, lollipops and rainbows everyday. We’ve had rough patches and fights for no reason and fights for good reason. But those times have been few and far between. For the most part being married has brought us closer than I ever thought possible and it has actually made our lives easier!
So, my thoughts on marriage so far… it’s pretty damn awesome. I would get married again if I had to do it all over again. And I’m lucky enough to have a husband who feels the same way.
Now if only we could figure out what we’re going to do for our one year anniversary…