Pregbooking

09 Jan 2012 4 Comments

by meganfinley in kids Tags: ,

Wanna hear something that really freaked me out on various levels? I was at a friend’s dinner party, drinking wine and immaturely making and munching down on mini cheese sandwiches out of the sliced baguette and fancy cheese plate when a friend of mine walked in. As she rounded the kitchen island, I noticed that she was, well, a LOT bigger than the last time I saw her… in the stomach area. Now, I’ve learned from being witness to many an awkward “‘how far along are you?’ ‘I’m not pregnant’” exchanges to just shut my mouth and not assume anything. But the mystery was solved when another friend said, “look what happened to her since you last saw her! A baby!”

And here’s what freaked me out: More

Am I broken?

27 Jul 2010 38 Comments

by meganfinley in kids

To all my Blog readers who are parents:

How did you know you you wanted to have a kid? When did you know for sure? Did you ever REALLY know for sure?

Since I turned 23 and decided that I didn’t want to have any kids I’ve been told “you’ll change your mind” but I’m almost 29 (next month) and I still don’t feel the need. And now I’m feeling broken. And I’m feeling like a terrible girl.

Almost all my female family members and friends, if they haven’t already had one, they at least KNOW that they eventually want to have kids. And I don’t. I still don’t. I just don’t know.

So I guess yeah, I’m asking, did you ever really know for certain? Was there ever a time that it hit you like a ton of bricks? I’m confused and overwhelmed and need some input.

My thoughts on getting pregnant…

04 Sep 2009 9 Comments

by meganfinley in kids, me Tags: ,

Here’s the deal — I don’t want kids. I never have and I don’t think I ever will. And for years now I’ve had person after person tell me “oh that’ll change.” But it hasn’t. In fact, the older I get the more I realize that I really don’t want kids. The only thing that has changed is that I’ve started to feel my biological clock ticking. And I’m wondering if that’s what people mean by, “one day you’ll want kids.” Have all those people confused the feeling of their bodies becoming ready to get pregnant with the feeling of actually wanting a kid? I don’t know. I have a feeling that’s part of it.

But even with my body telling me that it’s time, my logical mind is telling me NO FREAKING WAY! I’m not responsible enough, I’m not patient enough, I’m not tolerant enough, I’m not maternal enough, I’m not stable enough and I’m not employed enough to have a kid. Plus I have this weird “bellybutton thing” — amongst several other general fears of the human body — all those weird pregnancy changes would just freak me out WAAAAY to much.

But besides all the obvious reasons that we shouldn’t have kids there’s one major reason why I never want to produce offspring. And though what I’m about to say may sound funny, I assure you, I am in no way kidding…

One time, I saw a pile of babies.

I was at a family event when it happened, there were grandparents, parents, aunts, uncles, cousins and friends in attendance. Most all of the cousins and friends there had just had babies and someone had the brilliant idea to take a group photo of all the newest additions. So they all placed their babies on a blanket one by one. About 5 or 6 half-naked, sticky, drooling babies squirming around and crawling over one another.

I was witness to a pile of small humans. And that my friends is now one of the main reasons I don’t want kids. I really would rather not contribute to the small pile of babies that my family is creating.

pile on

I’ll tell you something that I’ve just recently admitted to myself though — I almost wish that I wanted to have kids. Things would actually be easier on us in some ways to just know that was what we wanted instead of never really being 100% sure. It would also make our families super happy. I’d love to see my dad become a grandpa. I’d love to see what a combination of both Aaron and me would look like. (Probably so goofy that it’d be the ugliest/cutest thing I ever saw.) And I bet being pregnant feels freaking amazing and it’s all very romantic. But as it stands I’m just not ready for that and Aaron’s not ready for that, nor do I think we’ll ever be.

So that’s that. Babies are still a no-go even though I can feel that pesky biological clock. I just keep hitting the snooze button in hopes that the damn clock will just run out of batteries and shut itself off soon.