Worst. Hotel. Experience. EVAR. (or “Metro Hotel and Crazy Pants”)

This past weekend Coco and I traveled to Sonoma for a wedding, but I decided to splurge a little and treat me and my assistant to a little mini vacation — a relaxing stay at a “cute” hotel. Unfortunately my choosing the Metro Hotel and Cafe in Petaluma was the WORST mistake I could have possibly made. From the website it looked like a funky kitschy hostel-type place. Shame on me for mistaking “BAT-SHIT CRAZY” with “kitschy.”

Upon checking in to the hotel I was told by the guy behind the desk that they had just “changed their computer system” so I would now have to give him cash for the room that I had already paid for online two days prior. I laughed because I thought he was joking. Then he insisted again that I give him cash (totaling almost $300 for two nights!!!) and when I asked, “Wait, are you joking?,” he responded, “No, I’m Russian.” Clearly thinking then that it was all joke I proceeded to ask him where my room was and he proceeded to ask me for cash again. When I told him, confused and getting very frustrated at this point, that I can’t get the money even if my credit card was refunded, I just don’t carry around wads of cash, and I guess that I should just leave? He then gave up and showed us to the room saying something about how he would just take care of it somehow.

Immediately upon getting to the room I looked up my bank statements and no, the money had not been refunded — it wasn’t even pending! And yes, it seems that this guy had totally tried to scam me. NOT the way to welcome a guests to your hotel. Coco and I were immediately stressed and concerned about the type of people who run this place. Needless to say whenever we left our room we took all of our expensive belongings with us. Shady shady goings on.

Ah but the crazy continues!…
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The Real World and women’s body issues

no booty calls!

I admit it, I watch The Real World. I’ve been watching it since I was a youngster and I watch it still. This newest season, the D.C. season, is probably the LEAST interesting bunch of kids that have ever been cast. But beyond boring, the girls got downright PATHETIC in the last episode.

I can’t STAND women and their body issues. I feel like body issues should be like your genitals: keep them to yourself unless invited to share. I have body issues, other women have body issues, boys have body issues, EVERYONE does. I have been fortunate enough to surround myself with friends (boys and girls) who don’t harp on and on about theirs, at least in public. The few times when I’ve actually been on the receiving end of someone saying something negative about their body it’s kind of shocking to me and I don’t know how to act. I don’t want to encourage them by giving them a compliment back, but I don’t want to be a jerk and ignore them. So… I don’t know. I’ve been blessed with really secure friends and those awkward situations have been few and far between.

So it was angering to me to see these “women” on freaking TELEVISION having a pity party about their looks and just being so pathetic! If that damn show had been scripted a more stereotypical scene of women sitting around bitching about “the things that women bitch about” could not have been more perfect. It made me embarrassed to be a woman.

One of the girls spoke up, as I reached my saturation point of disgust, and even noted how pathetic their conversation was becoming. She started to communicate with the others that they, and all women, should really love their bodies. And here I’m thinking, yes! Thank you! Redeem yourself! And in the very next sentence she said, “I’d trade my body for any one of yours in a heartbeat.” NO!!!!! That is the fucking opposite of what you had just said! That one totally sane thing that you have probably EVER said. And you went and canceled that out.

And do you know what started the whole pathetic, whiny-woman body issue conversation? Well, apparently one of the girls made a comment about how she wanted to model for Playboy and one of the boys in the house said, “you’re not skinny enough.” To which, later, she admitted that he was right, but that even though he was right, he just shouldn’t have said that. That statement that was, admittedly, right.

My brain twisted into a pretzel of confusion and outrage and I thought my head was going to explode. My reaction, of course, was to Twitter my total disgust, but what I felt while watching it couldn’t be contained within 140 characters so here I blog.

Nothing saves a marriage more than expensive gifts…

Found this “article” through @marriageguide (who decided to follow me on Twitter) called “Together, Forever – Five Great Pieces Of Advice For An Undying Marriage.” I thought hmm, that title sounds pretty epic. I’m gonna check out these 5 GREAT pieces of advice. Maybe I could even learn something. Not only did I NOT learn something, I was actually OFFENDED by the “article.”

According to the writer, Jo Alesto, here’s the #2 thing that you can do to save your marriage:

Special gifts counts

For husbands, it is best if you give your wives special things that they will treasure forever. It doesn’t mean that even if you’ve been married for more than ten years now, special gifts don’t count anymore.

If, back in your wedding day, you failed to give her some of the most precious wedding jewellery available, now is the time to regain your score. A beautiful set of pearl bridal jewellery is not a late gift after all. You can still give your wife some good pair of stud earrings made of pearl and make them a part of your family’s heirloom.

WOW.

Okay, okay, spelling and grammar mistakes aside. Still… WOW.

I guess my husband FAILED on our wedding day. I mean, all he gave me on our wedding day was the most amazingly fun day at the beach. But, that’s just a memory that I can “treasure forever” and not the kind of physical treasure that I can wear around my neck and show all my friends just how much my husband loves me because he spent loads and loads of money on jewelry! Because those are the only “special things” that count. But the good news is that he can correct his massive fail at any point in our marriage, if he wants to be “together forever” that is. WOW.

the worst PR person i’ve ever seen

Joann Killeen is an idiot. Her smugness as she delivers the worst logic ever on behalf of the “Octuplet Mom” has left me screaming at the TV while I watched the evening news. Joann Killeen has to be the lamest spokesperson in the world. She went on tv saying something like, ‘if everyone who complained about “OctoMom” would just give $1 instead, it would help the mom out… Complaining about her isn’t going to help her.’

Give me a freaking break Joann, you jackass!!!! I have no intention of helping her. SHE’S the one to did this to herself!! Why in the hell should I have to give one fucking cent to help her? I didn’t knock her up.

This just pisses me off. Clearly if you need to set up a website and hire a PR person to help you get money to raise your children YOU ARE NOT FIT TO RAISE A BILLION KIDS. Why on earth is this “mom” not putting her new children up for adoption!? With all the publicity it would be so easy to find them good, in-tact, 2 parents homes with good incomes to support them. That’s the real tragedy. Those kids don’t even have a chance. They’re stuck with this crazy Angelina Jolie doppelganger. Hopefully no one will be stupid enough to donate ANY money to this whack job and she’ll have no choice but to put these kids up for adoption and give them a chance to at a good life.
I hate to be all “jump on the bandwagon”-y but I just needed to vent and say that Joann Killeen is the WORST pr person in the world. Good job lady — I hate your client even more now.

the worl for skilletgirl

I have to share with everyone something that has been giving me endless amounts of amusement… the wonderful world of Skilletgirl.

I found Skilletgirl on a photography sharing website called Flickr. I upload most all of my photos on to my Flickr account. I also belong to a few dog-themed groups. A couple of days ago, I saw a posting entitled “The worl for dogs” in one of those dog-themed groups. Confused, I clicked on the title and to my delight found this…

skilletgirl on public parks
This posting both angered and fascinated me. As an English major I was furious! There are so many mistakes on so many levels! This posting was like an horrific accident on the side of the road where bad grammar collided with a big rig carrying a shipment of homonyms on the Syntax Highway. And that, folks, is why I could not look away. In fact, I found myself having to find out more about this Skilletgirl…
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