The Real World and women’s body issues

no booty calls!

I admit it, I watch The Real World. I’ve been watching it since I was a youngster and I watch it still. This newest season, the D.C. season, is probably the LEAST interesting bunch of kids that have ever been cast. But beyond boring, the girls got downright PATHETIC in the last episode.

I can’t STAND women and their body issues. I feel like body issues should be like your genitals: keep them to yourself unless invited to share. I have body issues, other women have body issues, boys have body issues, EVERYONE does. I have been fortunate enough to surround myself with friends (boys and girls) who don’t harp on and on about theirs, at least in public. The few times when I’ve actually been on the receiving end of someone saying something negative about their body it’s kind of shocking to me and I don’t know how to act. I don’t want to encourage them by giving them a compliment back, but I don’t want to be a jerk and ignore them. So… I don’t know. I’ve been blessed with really secure friends and those awkward situations have been few and far between.

So it was angering to me to see these “women” on freaking TELEVISION having a pity party about their looks and just being so pathetic! If that damn show had been scripted a more stereotypical scene of women sitting around bitching about “the things that women bitch about” could not have been more perfect. It made me embarrassed to be a woman.

One of the girls spoke up, as I reached my saturation point of disgust, and even noted how pathetic their conversation was becoming. She started to communicate with the others that they, and all women, should really love their bodies. And here I’m thinking, yes! Thank you! Redeem yourself! And in the very next sentence she said, “I’d trade my body for any one of yours in a heartbeat.” NO!!!!! That is the fucking opposite of what you had just said! That one totally sane thing that you have probably EVER said. And you went and canceled that out.

And do you know what started the whole pathetic, whiny-woman body issue conversation? Well, apparently one of the girls made a comment about how she wanted to model for Playboy and one of the boys in the house said, “you’re not skinny enough.” To which, later, she admitted that he was right, but that even though he was right, he just shouldn’t have said that. That statement that was, admittedly, right.

My brain twisted into a pretzel of confusion and outrage and I thought my head was going to explode. My reaction, of course, was to Twitter my total disgust, but what I felt while watching it couldn’t be contained within 140 characters so here I blog.

Dear SUV driver that almost killed me today,

You know, STOP SIGNS are there for a reason right? Not only did you not stop, you didn’t even pause! Not even a California roll!!! I felt the wind of you car as you zoomed past me and my dogs, standing in the street. Like you were too important to stop, and my life was not important ENOUGH to give a moments thought too. And I hope to HELL you heard the things that I yelled at you.

I had one foot in the street when you were half way down the block, surely, I thought, enough time for you to see me and come to a full and complete stop. I had taken my second step by the time you hit the stop sign and thank GOD I didn’t take that third step or I would’ve been plastered to the Mercedes sign on your grill.

What if I was one of the dog owners that let their dogs walk out in front of them? If that had been the case you would have killed my family. I would have had to see my dogs run voilently under the wheels of your ugly silver monstrosity. Happy Halloween I guess!

Look, I’m writing this to vent because I am just so damn frustrated by how many people just DON’T STOP! This isn’t the first time I’ve seen this happen, it’s just the first time I’ve actually felt the wind the car makes as it puts my life, and others, in danger.

I’m also writing this open letter as a way to ask/remind/beg every one who reads it to please at least PAUSE at stop signs, if not stop completely. I never really gave thought to how important a “full and complete stop” was, until I became a twice daily pedestrian when I got my dog. And I was amazed at how many people just didn’t care about other people (or their pets). If just once one of my dogs got away from me, as dogs are want to do, they could’ve been killed so instantly. And for what? Shaving .00001 seconds off a drive to work? Or, in the case of today, to get to the god-damned 7-11!??? (Yeah, she pulled into a freaking 7-11.) Anyway, where was I? Oh yeah, stopping. So important.

Just think of the puppies! Won’t someone just think of the puppies!? Seriously though, that’s what I do. Every time I come up to a stop sign, or come out the other end of an alley, I imagine someone is walking their dog without a leash down that street. And it makes me think before I just keep going. I wish I could remember who told me to do that, but whoever did totally changed my whole attitude about stopping. Believe me, I was QUEEN of the California roll! That person, and dog ownership have changed that for the better.

Okay, I feel better now, thank you for letting me vent. And thank you for (maybe?) taking this message to heart.

And SUV driving bitch that almost killed me? I hope you choke on your Slurpee.

with aloha,
Megan, Jackon & the Peez

the Lake Mead houseboat trip

Jackson sez, "Drive safe!"

Nothing saves a marriage more than expensive gifts…

Found this “article” through @marriageguide (who decided to follow me on Twitter) called “Together, Forever – Five Great Pieces Of Advice For An Undying Marriage.” I thought hmm, that title sounds pretty epic. I’m gonna check out these 5 GREAT pieces of advice. Maybe I could even learn something. Not only did I NOT learn something, I was actually OFFENDED by the “article.”

According to the writer, Jo Alesto, here’s the #2 thing that you can do to save your marriage:

Special gifts counts

For husbands, it is best if you give your wives special things that they will treasure forever. It doesn’t mean that even if you’ve been married for more than ten years now, special gifts don’t count anymore.

If, back in your wedding day, you failed to give her some of the most precious wedding jewellery available, now is the time to regain your score. A beautiful set of pearl bridal jewellery is not a late gift after all. You can still give your wife some good pair of stud earrings made of pearl and make them a part of your family’s heirloom.

WOW.

Okay, okay, spelling and grammar mistakes aside. Still… WOW.

I guess my husband FAILED on our wedding day. I mean, all he gave me on our wedding day was the most amazingly fun day at the beach. But, that’s just a memory that I can “treasure forever” and not the kind of physical treasure that I can wear around my neck and show all my friends just how much my husband loves me because he spent loads and loads of money on jewelry! Because those are the only “special things” that count. But the good news is that he can correct his massive fail at any point in our marriage, if he wants to be “together forever” that is. WOW.

the worst PR person i’ve ever seen

Joann Killeen is an idiot. Her smugness as she delivers the worst logic ever on behalf of the “Octuplet Mom” has left me screaming at the TV while I watched the evening news. Joann Killeen has to be the lamest spokesperson in the world. She went on tv saying something like, ‘if everyone who complained about “OctoMom” would just give $1 instead, it would help the mom out… Complaining about her isn’t going to help her.’

Give me a freaking break Joann, you jackass!!!! I have no intention of helping her. SHE’S the one to did this to herself!! Why in the hell should I have to give one fucking cent to help her? I didn’t knock her up.

This just pisses me off. Clearly if you need to set up a website and hire a PR person to help you get money to raise your children YOU ARE NOT FIT TO RAISE A BILLION KIDS. Why on earth is this “mom” not putting her new children up for adoption!? With all the publicity it would be so easy to find them good, in-tact, 2 parents homes with good incomes to support them. That’s the real tragedy. Those kids don’t even have a chance. They’re stuck with this crazy Angelina Jolie doppelganger. Hopefully no one will be stupid enough to donate ANY money to this whack job and she’ll have no choice but to put these kids up for adoption and give them a chance to at a good life.
I hate to be all “jump on the bandwagon”-y but I just needed to vent and say that Joann Killeen is the WORST pr person in the world. Good job lady — I hate your client even more now.

This Christmas- give the gift of thoughtlessness

Last night I was watching TV with my friends and we couldn’t help but get frustrated with the copious amount of nauseating jewelry commercials!! It was starting to make me angry and then what pushed me over the top was THE WORST JEWELRY AD I’VE SEEN YET:

Basically what that just said to me is this: “Because you don’t really give a shit about doing something nice for your girlfriend — give her jewelry.” Wow. It prompted me and my friends (guys and girls) to get into a discussion about jewelry commercials and how ridiculous and often offensive they are. And then I saw this video this morning…

So here’s my questions to you guy out there: Do you even notice the increased amount of jewelry commercials around the holidays? And if so, does it make you think you should be buying your lady a “Diamond Journey Pendant” from Zales? And if you actually did, did she chuck it at your thoughtless head? (Okay, maybe not that last question, but I am seriously curious about the first two.)

“let freedom ring”

Jackson and me at the protest.

I am proud to say that I attended my first protest last night! Hundreds of us headed out to Santa Monica Blvd & San Vicente to protest the passing of Prop 8. Like I said, I had never taken part in a protest before; even though I strongly apposed the war, I kept out of protests and things like that because honestly, I just don’t know much about war and politics. But I do know what discrimination is! I do know that it’s not okay to deny people their civil rights based on ignorance and fear. And because of this strong believe and my overwhelming anger at the bigots that live in my state I took to the streets with Jackson in tow. Because, as a pit bull, Jackson knows a LOT about being discriminated against as a breed out of ignorance and fear. (And also I needed to walk the dog anyway and it’s not completely safe to walk the streets at night by myself.)

It was a wonderful experience, there were sooooo many people out showing their support for gay marriage and expressing their anger and the injustice that was inflicted upon the people of this state. The speeches were great and I was glad to learn that the fight against prop 8 is not over. But what was the best part was the march. Cars were honking in support as we walked by intersections, people were cheering and there was a general positive vibe in the air.

the large crowd listening to the speeches

One of the people I met at the rally told me that he had just moved to LA and he was overwhelmed by how many people had come out to protest. He wondered how the prop could have ever gotten passed in the first place. I told him that he was in West Hollywood, one of the epicenters of the gay community. Obviously not everyone who lives in California will be this understanding and supportive.  And that made me really sad to come to terms with this exact idea in the past couple of days. But for one night I could pretend that majority was with us. For one night I could surround myself with hundreds and hundreds of people who felt the same way as I did. And I felt GREAT for the first time that entire day.

Protesters marching on Santa Monica Blvd.

Now there’s a movement on the internet that I just learned about and it made me smile as much as the protest last night did. It started in this post from a blog called Eating Out Loud. It’s called “Let Freedom Ring” and here’s an excerpt that explains it all:

I decided to snap a photo of my wedding band placed on a slightly different finger than normal to express exactly how I feel toward every single person who voted Yes on Prop 8. It’s my personal version of ‘let freedom ring’. The battle for equality changes course but it’s very far from over.

I decided to do my part and join the “Let Freedom Ring” movement…

Let freedom ring!

I welcome supporters of gay rights to snap your own photo showing your wedding ring on your middle finger. Spread the word that this fight isn’t over. Whether you’re gay, straight, bi, white, blue or tan — show your support by letting freedom ring on your blog then go here to log it for everyone to see!

To the the GM of Winstons, Mr Harold Karsenty-

(I found this while cleaning out the “drafts” section of my gmail. I lost this guy’s email address after I finished writing it, but I LOVE this email too much to erase it. When I wrote it there was to be a “town meeting” re: Winstons night club in our neighborhood. Hopefully someday, somehow, he’ll see this.)

Winston's is too cool for signs.

To the GM of Winstons, Mr Harold Karsenty-

I am writing this email to you because I regretfully can not make it to the town meeting on March 12th and it DEVASTATES me that I won’t be able to attend, seriously, it would have made my day to tell you to your face how much I fucking HATE your club. I would have LOVED to attend just so I could sit there and throw thumb tacks at your head the entire time just to give you a physical demonstration of the kind of annoying environment you have brought into my life. While I DO have to give you some respect for actually making an effort to hear this neighborhood’s concerns regarding your establishment I have to be honest and say nothing short of MOVING or at the least enforcing a mandatory muzzling policy for all patrons exiting your establishment would help.

The reasons for my deep-seeded burning hatred for your club are many:

First, your clientele are obnoxiously loud– they are loud in a way that says “I don’t care about anyone but me.” In fact, I think it wouldn’t annoy me as much if they actually went around yelling “I don’t care about anyone but me!!!” But the don’t they ALL feel the need to scream is “WHOOOOOOOOOO!” when they leave your club every night at 2am. What is that!? That’s just unnecessary, that’s what it is. And when they aren’t screaming “WHOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” for no reason, then they’re yelling at each other from across the street about the valet, or getting into fights as they leave your club, or arguing about who parked the car where and who is going to get shotgun.

Speaking of parking… it’s been IMPOSSIBLE since you opened. Not everyone that lives in the neighborhood has a parking space so we’re forced to find one on the street. And even though it’s permit parking only in most areas I’ve seen the Potsie’s that go to your club parking on my street anyway. I’ve had to park literally miles away on Fridays and Saturdays, I’ve been BOTH almost hit and backed up into by the same person cruising around looking for parking. And I know they were going to your place because I was walking my dog at the time so I’m out long enough to watch them look for a spot, find one in a permit parking area, park there, and then walk right up to your ridiculous line!

Speaking of the line… When you first opened, this was before we realized it was a club for trendy douches, my fiance and I thought we’d take advantage of having a bar right across the street. We had already been to Lubitsch a few times so we thought we’d check your place. There was no line at that time, in fact, there had been no line that I had even seen so far yet, and when we got to the door some guy told us that if we didn’t have a reservation we couldn’t get in. Are you fucking kidding me!??? If you’re going to move into our neighborhood and disrupt the quiet “gays and Russians living in harmony” vibe we had going, fuck up parking, force us to deal with Hollywood-type assholes everywhere, and screams late at night, the LEAST you could fucking do is let us have a damn drink.

Needless to say that’s when we realized that “Winstons” was not a cool neighborhood bar, like Lubitsch- who still brings in some drunk idiots, but it can still be convenient at the same time. Your place brings nothing GOOD to the neighborhood and gives me the urge to find the biggest slingshot in the world, or maybe one of those guns that shoot t-shirts into the crowd at sporting events, load it with water balloons filled with dog poop and launch them at your front door.

So if and when that happens you’ll know who it was and you’ll know why it happened– because you SUCK, your club is lame and the people who go there are disrespectful and rude and I hope you get out of this neighborhood and go somewhere you belong like Sunset or Hollywood or San Vicente. I mean, I live right behind the Pleasure Chest and their clientele is more respectful than yours. And the times when there have been people being obnoxious in the parking lot or the street the employees have been awesome about taking care of it. So either be pro-active and tell your people to shut up when their outside and stay off of our streets or please kindly leave.

Sincerely,
Megan Tharpe

My Furry Crack Pipe

Jackson and me.

Few things make me angrier than someone fucking with my dog. I’m like that mom that miraculously developed superhuman strength to lift up a car when her child was pinned underneath it, when it comes to loving my dog, Jackson. And when someone (namely one mustachioed douche bag reporter) comes out with a generalized negative outlook on my pets breed, the pit-bull, I feel as though he’s fucking with my baby; pinning him under a streetcar named negative press.

Let me preface this angry rant with some back story here…
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