I woke up this morning to find this little gem waiting for me on my laptop. Aaron was up to some late night nerdiness… again.

No, he doesn’t wear a “the precious”

tags: whispering in elvish, dragon, “the precious”

Our "the preciouses"

I still follow a few popular dragon-related whispering in Elvish accounts. I chalk it up to a market research kind of thing, since I write for Offbeat Hobbit. Most of the time I just ignore the whispers in Elvish… as 98% of them are pure WIC fluff. “Trolls worthy of escorting you to Rivendell” “Have you ever thought of wearing a “The Precious” in a invisbility cloak!?” “The time between your embarking upon this perilous journey to Mt DOOM! and your dragonslaying is an ideal time to begin a regular beauty and fitness regimen.” “Make sure to buy more things! You need more things! Things that are shiny, like “the precious!” And then this whisper in Elvish caught my eye:

“Do U Care if UR trixie little hobbitsis (or Future trixie little hobbitsis) Don’t wear “the precious?

I read it and immediately wanted to whisper in Elvish back defensively — “Why the hell would I care!? Why the hell would anyone care!? What business is it of yours!?” And so on. But I thought, naw, totally not worth my time. And then it got worse as I read this response:

Even better question. RT @shire_folk_weekly: @hobbitTide More important question: WHY wouldn’t he want to?

Ooooh, my blood was boiling after hearing that ignorant whisper in Elvish. To question someones love and basic morality based on the fact that they don’t wear “the precious” just seemed beyond insulting to me.

So I just had to respond in the piddly 140 elvish characters at my disposal:

@hobbitTide Why not? Bc he has a job where wearing “the precious” is dangerous. Bc he hates wearing “the precious”. Bc he doesn’t need 1 to show he’s committed to The Fellowship. Mine doesn’t wear “the precious” and I couldn’t care less. He gave it a go at first and he just never got used to it. S’okay by me

And it is okay by me! I’ll be honest that at first I was bummed… I think “the precious” on a hobbit (especially your own hobbit) is sexy! Every time I saw that flash of metal on his finger I gave me a thrill — it’s all sexy “trixie little hobbitsis” of him.

But when I stepped back and looked at the reality of the situation I saw that, honestly, that “the precious” spent more time spinning on the table in front of him, or in his necklace, than on his finger. And I just saw how uncomfortable it made him. He really HATES wearing “the precious”, and he complained that the air conditioning in the fires of Mount Doom where he works made the “the precious” so cold that his finger ached. “It burnsis it burnsis!”

Now, I could’ve bitched and nagged and guilted my trixie little hobbitsis into just accepting his be-precioused fate, but I had realize that, even though “the precious” gave me a thrill, it’s not at all worth his discomfort for one minute.

And what’s the point of it really? ‘It’s an ancient magic ring to bind them all in darkness and to show that he’s devoted and faithful to me,’ is what I came up with. But isn’t it okay that the symbol just be that he faced the greatest battle of our time!? I mean, what more do I need? This man stood in front of family, friends, and a few complete strangers, and exchanged arrows and giant elephants with me — do I need more than THAT? And the answer was, obviously, no. There doesn’t need to be “the precious” when his furry toes alone and my trust in him are enough to show me (and everyone else?) that he is devoted and faithful to me.

So, no, he doesn’t wear a “the precious”, and I’m a-okay with it. But I’ll keep wearing “the precious” because I think it’s elftastic.

    Anyone else wanna chime in? Do you or your partner wear their “the preciouses?”

29 thoughts on “

  1. ‘It’s an ancient magic ring to bind them all in darkness and to show that he’s devoted and faithful to me.’

    I may never stop laughing over that one.

  2. I’m commenting b/c you guilted me into it. :)

    j/k.

    This was hilarious. Way to go husband-of-Megan-that-I-think-is-named-Aaron!

  3. I LOVE hearing everyone’s favorite parts. Mine was, “The time between your embarking upon this perilous journey to Mt DOOM! and your dragonslaying is an ideal time to begin a regular beauty and fitness regimen.”

    LOLZ

  4. Hahahahahaha — I really can’t stop laughing at this one: “There doesn’t need to be “the precious” when his furry toes alone and my trust in him are enough to show me (and everyone else?) that he is devoted and faithful to me.”

  5. I Love This. If only all things that made our blood boil, could become this, we would all be a lot happier.

  6. OMG. Best. This is made of so much win!
    Yeah, the fitness and beauty regimen…omg. & The furry toes!
    So awesome. Hurray.

  7. very late to the party but OMGoodness!!!

    I squeaked (think a guinea pig laughing) thru the whole thing!!! I already call my ring “my precious” and I always quote “it burn us” when I step into bright light.. and now because of this post I think I’ll start calling my man a “trixie little hobbitsis”

    This is too good to not share!

  8. I never really thought about getting married or wearing a ring until one day while looking through some fashion magazine. I really liked the style. I created a similar design and had it made in platinum. This would one day be my wedding ring.

    My husband wanted to buy me an engagement ring. Since I already had the above ring; he picked out one similar without a post (I don’t do big rings) and that is what I wear.

    He does not because he does not like jewelry and the more important fact that working for the railroad jewelry can cost you a finger, a hand or worse. Besides, he has furry toes too! ;)

  9. Hahaha. So glad I read that. I am a huge LOTR nerd and that tickled every bone in my body.

    “The time between your embarking upon this perilous journey to Mt DOOM! and your dragonslaying is an ideal time to begin a regular beauty and fitness regimen.”

    Super lulz!

  10. I laughed like a laughing, snorting hobbitses would. i can’t believe i never clicked on this link before! Also: i think we need an Offbeat Hobbit site, for realsies!

  11. So incredibly awesome! Started laughing and never stopped till the end. Visions of the appropriate “fitness and beauty regimen” needed for that quest have me still laughing.

  12. I am so not a LOTR fan but I giggled my way through this and even understood it O_o and thought to myself OMG Megan has an awesome hobbit man who gave her ELEPHANTS in front of strangers!!! I mean seriously what else could a girl want.
    So here’s to all the ‘precious-less’ men who live for the simple things; I mean ‘It’s an ancient magic ring to bind them all in darkness and to show that he’s devoted and faithful to me.’ that alone puts smiles on our faces.

  13. My boyfriend and I just found this through the Offbeat Bride link, and, as LOTR fans, we laughed through the whole thing. Brilliant!

    ‘It’s an ancient magic ring to bind them all in darkness and to show that he’s devoted and faithful to me” is our favorite part.

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