Aloha means goodbye.
06 Jun 2009
by meganfinley
in maui, sad times
Please stop asking me about Maui…
For the past 4 years I’ve been focusing almost all of my energy and thoughts on one thing. It was my comfort when things got tough, it was something to daydream about when I was bored or walking the dog or needed a little escape. It was the key to my success, I was (and still am) convinced of that. And the idea of it kept me going on a day to day basis. That thing was Maui. Moving to Maui, living in Maui and working in Maui. And now that dream is dead.
And I got so close! After getting married there my father asked us to look at properties on our honeymoon. And we found our dream home! And my parents put a down payment on it with the understanding that they would be renting it out until Aaron and I could move there and take over the mortgage. And we had our future looking pretty good even if our present was pretty shitty.
Aaron keeps getting laid off from jobs and I can’t even find a one. And our apartment is always messy and our dog doesn’t have a yard. My asthma has gotten so bad that I can’t EVER breathe. And we’re both so tired of living in LA. Seriously fuck LA. But there was always Maui.
And then there was
The Shack. This shining beacon of hope for our future lives. But it’s gone now. The Shack is not ours anymore and will never be.
Without going into a lot of detail, because I’m probably already in trouble just for writing this — my mom lives in it now. That’s my mom’s place and not mine. And now Maui is this place of negativity that just hurts to much to even think about. The house has been made uglier than it used to be and changed so much that it wouldn’t work for me and Aaron anymore anyway. And we’ve had to cancel our plans to go back in October to celebrate our 1st wedding anniversary and I’m not sure when or if we’ll ever be back.
We need to focus on a new dream now. Whatever that is. I’m not sure where we’re going to end up. It’s not going to be the place where we wanted to end up, but does anyone ever really? I mean, dreams are just that, right? A dream. This one just happened to turn into a nightmare.
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Aloha there, I'm Megan Finley. I'm a 30-something girl, living in Los Angeles with that guy I married and our rescued pets. I work online (a LOT) for the 
Jun 06, 2009 @ 19:12:51
It's not necessarily over is it? Are there any possibilities? Maybe Aaron can find a job there and you can do your wedding gigs and rent a small apt? Anything is possible! Maybe I'll sell a billion records and buy you a place there! Don't give up on your Maui dream! It might not come in the form you imagined. It might be even better!
Jun 06, 2009 @ 19:16:33
Those are all really good questions…
But let me answer it by saying that as of right now it's over. Maui holds so many negative connotations that my family doesn't really want anything to do with that place anymore. And I wouldn't want to live anywhere that my family members wouldn't feel comfortable visiting.
Maybe MAYBE years from now we'll all get over it, but for now, it doesn't look good. it's a negative place now. just the mention of it makes me feel so sick and sad that I HATE to think about it.
Jun 17, 2009 @ 17:29:24
Keep faith in yourselves. You will find your dreams. quotes that inspire me :
Life should not be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside in a cloud of smoke, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming "Wow! What a Ride!"
–Hunter S. Thompson
"It's never too late to be what you might have been."
— George Eliot
The only person I can control is me. The most effective action I can take is to find peace within myself.
Jun 18, 2009 @ 06:19:29
ok, this is so random (thanks internet), but: we were just in maui for 10 days with our two little kids. my daughter, who's 4, wanted to become a hawai'i girl and stay forever. my little dude, who's 1, had a really rough time breathing (he has lung Issues, capital "i"). Word is, Maui is bad news for asthma people, and you mention yours is getting tough.
hang in there… i'm so sorry life has dealt you such an emotionally harsh blow.
Jun 23, 2009 @ 17:08:14
Annonymous – thanks for the mysterious support!
I love Hunter S.
Olga! hey howzit. I'm glad you ate getting to enjoy Maui. It's amazing. I mentioned my asthma in that blog because Maui actually IMPROVES my asthma. I think in all the months and months and months I've spent there I've probably had one or two attacks after something strenuous. But I hear that Maui has different affects on different folks. But in LA? FORGET IT! I'm barely breathing as I type this.